Sleep has been anything but peaceful lately, and this may be why I keep sleeping so much…to try and makeup for the tossing and turning and the vivid dreams that come and go. If you know me, you know I’m an avid dreamer…I dream most of the time, and sometimes I can connect my dreams back to previous days’ discussions or things I’m worried about, but other times, my dreams are off-kilter and almost nightmarish. We’ll see what dreams may come tonight.
Despite my awful sleep, I had a very productive day. I did get to chat with my English department for almost an hour, which was nice and refreshing. I also went LIVE on Instagram with my students (on my teacher account) and answered some of their questions. A student did ask me how I was doing and how the school closure was affecting me as a teacher, and I was 100%. I broke down in tears and told them that my main concern was them and their well-being; I am concerned that they weren’t eating enough; I am concerned that they don’t have great family home lives; I am concerned for so many reasons, but I told them that besides that, I was doing my best to embrace this new normal. My seniors discussed their fears of no senior activities and I told them they are being robbed of a great year because of this pandemic, but that their feelings are 100% valid. My juniors piped up and said they felt robbed too, which I validated. I validated every year’s feelings because at the end of the day, a lot of us are being robbed of our “this is how this year is supposed to be” moments that will no longer be. Canceled birthday parties. Canceled wedding celebrations. Canceled new birth visits. Canceled celebrations of all sorts. This is our new normal, and as the virus continues to spread, there were only be more canceled events, and quite frankly, it sucks– for lack of a better word.
One thing that has been canceled but that I’ve been trying to makeup for are my Orangetheory classes. I got in another good workout and I’m hopeful that I can start embracing this new way of working out. My back, my chest, my arms, and my abs are so sore. Yay! hehe. I’ve always struggled with arm strength, so maybe I’ll get my baby muscles back these next few weeks. I have yet to venture outside on a run for my cardio, but I feel like I may try it soon. We shall see.
And as the days turn into weeks, my soul yearns for more.
There’s this deep desire to express myself, I feel it in my core.
Hope hangs on by a thread on a sweater worn one too many times,
Weaving positivity in between the lines of these rhymes.
Some searching for a sign that this all may be over soon,
Others calmly riding out the storm in the haven of their cocoon.
Growing wings during the season of isolation,
Perhaps like butterflies, so many of us will emerge with new transformations.
And maybe that won’t happen, and all we can hope for after this is all over is simply a better appreciation for the lives that we live, and just string along all the little happy moments together to weave back the hope that was once just hanging by a thread…
❤ One love.
Confessions of a 40-Year-Old Teacher Mom 